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Fear Isn't Something To Be Afraid Of

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If this idea stirs up uncomfortable feelings or doubts, it’s not surprising.

In general, we understand that if there’s some fear, then there must be some danger.

We also understand that if there’s fear, we need to do something to make it stop.

Sometimes that means moving toward it to confront it.

Other times it means getting as far away as fast as possible.

Or, it may mean making parts of you smaller in the hope that the danger will pass you by.

Today, I invite you to consider how fear can, in fact, be a completely normal and natural experience...

And, to not fight it...

Run from it...

Or even hide.

Which isn't the same as pretending it's not scary.

It's learning to interpret the messages in a new way.

The Biology Of Fear

It's no surprise that if we’re feeling fear, we know we’re perceiving something as a threat.

And no matter whether it’s on the physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual plane, our mind believes that some part of our existence is in danger.
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In truth, it doesn’t even matter which of these aspects of our consciousness feels under attack, our fear response will have the same intensity.

So, when we perceive danger, a deeply ingrained system takes control.

As a result of this, our body produces the powerful stress chemicals, cortisol and adrenaline.

The subsequent changes to our body are extensive and extreme.

• Our heart beats faster and blood flow shifts away from anything non-essential to survival, like the prefrontal cortex.
• Digestive tract may speed up or slow down.
• Field of vision shrinks which allows us to exclude all but the most essential visual information about the threat we face.
• Muscles around our ears may become overly activated, pulling them open as much as possible to better be able to detect the sounds of danger.
• Blood sugar spikes.
• White blood cells may increase.
• Extremities become cold.
• Large muscles receive more blood flow.
• And our breathing becomes faster and shallower.

Being afraid is a full contact sport that engages the body and mind on all levels.

It's designed to save our lives.

However, it also has the power to create chronically limiting mental, emotional, or physical health conditions.

It all starts with the Autonomic Nervous System.

The conventional way to talk about it is that there are two parts.

One is the Parasympathetic Nervous System, often referred to as 'rest and digest.'

It’s where the body is in a state of calm, balance, and restoration.

I like to imagine that when I’m in the Parasympathetic state, I'm paragliding along and relaxed, seeing my life with an expansive perspective.

The other part is called the Sympathetic Nervous System, commonly described as 'fight or flight.'

It’s where the body is in a state of vigilance, hyper-alertness, and reactivity.

And so, I may 'come out swinging,' or 'skip town,' depending on the situation.

If you're wondering about the 'freeze' response; Dr. Stephen Porges explains that it's our most primitive neural circuitry and is used when fighting or fleeing is unsuccessful, making a shutdown the only remaining option.

Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

We spend quite a lot of time, energy, and even money, trying to escape our fears.

Some of these choices help us be more healthy... others not so much.
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Now, this isn’t to say that things like...

• Relaxing massage
• Soaking in mineral springs
• Meditation
• Eating and drinking in a balanced way
• Moving in whatever way is appropriate and helpful
• Managing your mental and emotional diets, as well as your physical one

...aren’t incredibly important.

They're lovely things to do for yourself.

However, if they’re done as away of escaping fear...

You miss out on the wisdom and richness that engaging with the voices of your fear brings.

So then, what is to be done about this natural human experience called fear?

First, understand that your mind is having one experience and your body is having another.

You see, your body doesn’t have a choice.

The system is in place and when the switch gets flipped, it's 'go for launch' as they say at NASA.

So, separate out the physiological response from your mental machinations.

Then, start by addressing the physiological effects of fear first by supporting your body with kindness and compassion.

It can be a simple as Lavender essential oil to alter the chemistry in your limbic system.

Or it can be as high-tech as using a vagus nerve stimulator to improve the tone of your vagal nerve.

There's even one thing you already possess that comes predesigned to reset your body's nervous system.

It's your breath.

It's simple, readily available, and now easier to understand than ever.

Once you've tended to your body, now you can recognize that your mind is playing its own sort of movie.

However, it's essential to understand that your mind is only always trying to find a way to prevent future stress, fear or pain.

And, your mind's tool kit is limited.

Get Crackin'

Here's an example to illustrate how our minds use the blunt instruments of denials, explanations, rationalizations, and biased beliefs to respond to fear.

Imagine you've gotten a crack in the windshield of your car.

This essential lens lets you clearly seeing where you're going and how you want to get there.

And even if that crack isn't in your way yet...

It promises to grow bigger, eventually impairing your ability to navigate your life.

If you go to someone whose tool kit contains a bunch of hammers, you’re not going to get what you're hoping for...

Because no amount of hammering is going to fix the crack.

It might eliminate the entire windshield, which for sure will prevent future cracks.

But then, the next thing you know...

When you try to move toward your desired destination...

You’re going to need goggles and a hat...

And the more you drive and the farther you want to go, you'll need to add thicker and thicker layers, until...

You find yourself wearing a helmet and a snowsuit every time you go out.

All to compensate for the missing windshield because your mind didn't understand how to mend a crack.

It only knew how to get rid of the potential for this one to get worse.

Now at this point, your mind will tell you that the extra layers you need just to get around are perfectly normal and actually smart things to do.

And in your present situation, the evidence will appear to match your perception.

In fact, you'll probably see a lot of other people driving around with no windshield, all bundled up.

You can rely on your mind to assure you that this is "just how it is."

4 Steps For Not Being Afraid Of Fear

Fortunately, your mind isn't your only resource to turn to in times of fear.

There's a source within you that is deeper, wiser, and more knowing.

This source knows the past, the present, and even the future.

And the best part is, you won't need to 'figure it out' or 'explain yourself' to you or anyone else.

However, it's vital to include all four steps as you explore your new approach to your fears.

When you do, you show the respect and honesty to yourself that I have no doubt you do your best to show others.

In order to free yourself from your fears and follow your true wisdom, take these 4 steps:

1. Acknowledge with kindness your mind's desire to be helpful
2. Acknowledge with respect your mind's limitation and lack of the correct tools to truly resolve stress, fear, or pain
3. Gently give your presence and attention to your deep inner wisdom
4. Tune into and receive your decision from your correct place of deep inner wisdom

How To Find Your Deep Inner Wisdom

There are actually a variety of practices and pathways that can support you in connecting to this reservoir of intelligence and direction.

My two favorites are Core Values Mastery and Human Design.

With Core Values Mastery you learn to identify a constellation of attributes from within which you're fully enlivened and where the effort of decision-making is eliminated.

With Human Design, there is a simple, mechanical map identifying your wisdom center and how it operates, as well as your true gifts and strengths.

These two systems work hand-in-hand.

As a Human Design Coach and guide, it’s my role to show you the elements of your true nature and how to apply them to the challenge you’re facing at any given time.

I support you in coming heart to heart with the truth of who you are...

And, equally importantly, who you are NOT...

Now, with these refined and precise tools, fear no longer drives you.

Rather, you can enjoy more of the journey.

PS - Here's a short video exploration of the particular fear messages I encounter in my own design, as well as how I interact with them for greater wholeness.

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My Fears & Awareness Center Gates In My Human Design

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Zette Harbour

Certified Professional Coach, Certified Brain Health Coach, Human Design Guide